‘Hindu vegetarian breakfast,’ proffered the stewardess, but a cold wind had blown the fog from about the Delhi airport, and before we’d finished, the plane landed, unexpectedly on time. The city was dug up for the new metro, looking subversive, broken. We drove past the sadness of poverty at night, slums of plastic bags barely off the ground, gunny sack doors battened against the freeze. I climbed up the stairs between houses all turned into apartments since my childhood. Where one family lived, there were mostly eight, with offices in the basement, servants on the roof, underground, atop the water tanks.
I climbed to our flat, sure that it remained as always: the inauthentic, but beautiful painting of a blue-robed scholar painted over an old Persian manuscript; my narrow bed with its mattress worn into my childhood shape; the photograph of all of us before we left: two silent brothers, two talkative sisters, and a dog who is smiling, his teeth a shining, grinning star. Our love for him was the love that first taught us about death. My father was waiting in his brown dressing gown, familiar to me over years, but oddly, he was also wearing gloves and a hat. His smile arrived slowly, as if from far away. Tonics didn’t help, nor the homeopathic, the ayurvedic, the herbal. He was sinking; the body gives way so fast, so fast. We lived in hospitals that were in a constantly unsettled state between decay and renovation, thronging with people from all over the third or renegade world—Afghanistan, Iran, Nigeria.